Bagged—2 (buckle up)

. . . continued from Bagged—1 (reliquary) . . .

. . . my default . . .

Most were never worn, collected like postcards from anywhere.

Some were bought out of nostalgia, good or bad — others, snapped up for fantasy-invented origin-story mysteries. 

The GAP bag has to’ve been from a late-eighties purchase of a neutralizing job interview disguise.

The top left deer looks cool when standing up, but not good for long drives — cutting into your muffin-top.

Pincher Creek is in Alberta Canada right before Beaver Mine — if you hit Turtle Mountain, you’ve gone too far, once again.

When I was in elementary school, a classmate was cast in a local Safeway commercial. The shot was of the kid smiling from the lowered back window of a wood-paneled station wagon as it pulled away. His name was Dino — maybe, still is . . .

If a friend gifts you a bottle-opener/belt buckle, they are not your friend. The price is an incidental dampness below the tool-accessory which, given that you’re wearing one at all, plausibly suggests a number of other fluid excuses guessed at your ultimate expense. 

Missing is my cherished Pablo Cruise buckle with their classic palm tree logo. Luckily, Earth Wind & Fire has my back. 

Two things here: 1—I saw Jaws at a drive-in with my mother when it was first released. 

I also saw The Exorcist at a drive-in. It was a multi-screen lot this time. We were there to see In Search of Noah’s Arc in a group-rate caravan of Cub Scout den mothers. On another screen, facing the back from the other direction, The Exorcist, which I watched silently from the rear window of our own wood paneled station wagon, disparately scored & narrated from a corded speaker, clipped to a front half-down window, adding a peculiar twist. 

The juxtaposition of that initial experience still bubbles up when considering sound vs images — the pliability of an impression. There should be a Cub Scout patch for this.

& 2—the Coors reminds me that I once toured the brewery in CO & don’t remember any of it.

Alberta was stellar for thrifting. I got a few latches there, including Lord Inc. Spruceland Radiator Ltd was in a town along my western route to the states through Jasper, usually pulling over in Hope, the town where they filmed First Blood.

Speaking of blood & explosions, I also saw KISS in Alberta. Early aughts. I took my teen nephews. The band descended on lifts. It thrilled my former teen-self. After the show, we agreed that the mouthy Motor City Madman opener is a piece of shit.

I’m not a shooter — the gun buckle just seemed like a prediction from a wishful defeatist. 

Another missing jewel is a Reno buckle with a mini spinning roulette wheel. On my way there from Alberta once, I cut through the orange/gray landscape of a nearly extinguished desert wildfire to end in Elko, NV. At a casino that night, an Elton John tribute band costumed to a dinner theater that served brightly colored concoctions. At the end of the set, the singer announced that, instead of a second Elton set, they would return for a show of various 70’s hits. The announcement seemed defiant, like a mutiny against the casino.

I stayed. They returned in non-Elton, casual Me Decade array, drinking those same concoctions throughout a loose set of spirited classics. It seemed subversive. I surrendered & drank along, sentimentally.